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A Pear in My Hair

(Suess-ian Satire)

by Kirill Zavyalov and Joshua Waldman

 

I declare, I declare,

There’s a pear in my hair.

 

I say, I say,

There’s just no way,

That as you declare,

There’s a pear in your hair.

Because I too,

If that’s true, If that’s true,

Have a pear in my hair.

There’s a pear in mine too.

It’s true, it’s so very true.

 

So why do you stare,

At the pear in my hair?

 

Isn’t fair,

It just isn’t fair,

I declare, I declare,

That the pear in your hair

Is shaped like a square!

 

The only square I see here

Has a round pear in his hair!

 

Look, I admit that my hair-pear is round,

But my hair-pear weighs roughly a pound!

Your hair-pear is so very small

And so very sub-par,

It looks, I declare,

Like it is likely to fall.

 

I don’t care I don’t care

About the shape or size of your pear

A pear is a pear, as far as I’m aware

If people want to stare, just let them stand there

Let them peek, let them leer

But don’t give them a scare

After all, it’s just a pear in your hair

 

I propose a trade,

Pear for pear,

A pair of hair-pears

In each others’ hairs.

 

Wait! Wait! You both too,

If it’s true, if it’s true,

Have pears in your hairs?

A pair of pears,

In each others hairs?

 

Why yes,

It is true,

That our pears two,

Once in our own hairs,

Have made a switcheroo,

From my hair to his,

And his hair to mine,

Our pears in our hairs

Are the same,

After all.

 

After all...