Mad Awesum Stories: Show and Tell
Prompt: a smart kindergarten kid during show and tell. They make smart remarks and are insulting the other kids. His name is Tyler Birchtree.
Requested By: Amanda Jimenez
Oh I’m so excited for show and tell! I’m kicking all their butts with my super cool toy! It’s this really big action figure that Mommy bought for me after I cried for a million hours in the toy store. His name is Steel Man, and he’s the coolest, most bestest Revenger on the whole team! If he were really mine, he would really kick their butts, ‘cause he’d think they’re all evil for trying to beat me! Maybe he wouldn’t beat up Michael, though. Michael’s super nice and he gave me his pretzels once. His pretzels were super good, not like the ones Mommy buys. One time, Daddy bought these pretzels at the carnival after I cried a whole bunch; they always give me what I want! These were different pretzels, though, because they were soft and covered in mustard. I hate mustard, so Daddy made them not put mustard on mine. It made mine the most specialest pretzel in the world!
So when Mommy and Daddy dropped me off at school, they pulled up to the sidewalk so fast, I almost dropped my Steel Man! I was so mad, so I yelled at them a whole bunch. They told me to stop yelling and I was acting like I was two! That got me even madder! I’m five years old! How can my mommy and daddy not know my age? I was gonna keep yelling, but they said they would take away my iPad, so I got quiet again. Stupid parents. Don’t tell Mommy or Daddy I have a potty mouth!
Before we got to show our things, it was stupid story time. I didn’t wanna listen to the stupid story, but Mrs. Henny said it was her special thing. I think her special thing is really boring. It was about this girl who planted some magic seeds that went up so high they touched the moon. But I wasn’t even listening ‘cause it was so boring! I took out my iPad and started playing Four Nights at Frankie’s. It’s the coolest, bestest game there is, at least that’s what this guy on MeTube says. He gets so scared and screams so loud and it’s really funny! I wanted to use the game as my special thing, but everyone in the universe has it, so it wouldn’t be special, and I wouldn’t win. I was gonna beat the whole game, but Mrs. Henny made me put it away. I wanted to yell at her, but I can’t or I have to sit in the corner again, and then I wouldn’t be able to share my Steel Man. Then I had to keep listening to her stupid story.
When it was finally over I almost fell asleep. Her story was sooooo long, way too long! At least I beat her special thing. But she was only the first one to share, I had to sit through some other people’s boringer things first. The list of sharers was in last name order, so I had to wait for a zillion people to finish. It’s not fair ‘cause I never get to go first. The first one to share is Sadie Alma. She’s a super meany pants, and a girl, so there’s no way she’ll win!
She stand up in front of the class and shows her… thing. She says it’s named Sophie. That’s such a stupid name. It’s so boring! She says it’s a kangaroo, and her mom brought it from this place called Australia where she’s from. I bet that’s not even a real place! What the heck even is a kangaroo? It looks silly. Why does it have a pocket on its belly? I know I beat her!
Next, Michael goes up. I don’t wanna be mean to my friend, but his thing is really bad. He brought in an action figure, but his is way less cool than mine. He says its name is Bob Ross the teenage radioactive samurai tortoise. The TV show is really stupid, but I can’t say anything ‘cause Michael would be mad and wouldn’t want to play Digcraft with me. I think Steel Man beats his toy, though.
After Michael is Jordan. He brought in his favorite puzzle. I hate puzzles. They’re all too hard and I can’t finish them, so I stomp on them. I bet Jordan can’t solve them, either, ‘cause he only brought the puzzle box. If he were really smart, he would’ve brought a finished puzzle! I definitely won over him.
The list keeps going and going! Patty brought in his weird platypus, Jenna, Jessie, and Margot all brought some dumb doll, Geralt had a pirate ship that didn’t even come with a parrot, and Leena had her glow-in-the-dark fox that wasn’t even that bright! If this is all my competition, then I’m definitely gonna win!
Finally, after a hundred thousand million years, Mrs. Henny called me up to show off Steel Man.
“So for show-and-tell, I brought in the coolest, most amazing, toy that’s better than all of yours combined! His name is Steel Man!” I thrust him out in front of me as high as I can reach, and everyone starts cheering super loud. “He’s super tough, as strong as steel! He even has his own TV show. He’s on a team with a whole bunch of other dudes, but he’s so strong he doesn’t even need them! He can punch stuff, kick stuff, and shoot lasers!” I turn on his Super Mecha Laser of Awesomeness and shot it at Michael. “If he were out size, he would kick all of your butts, but he’s not, so he has to work for me. But that means you have to be careful, ‘cause if you’re mean to me, I’ll make him grow super huge and punch you into space! The end.” Everyone cheered so loud for me! They loved Steel Man so much that even if show-and-tell isn’t supposed to have a winner, there’s no way I didn’t win!"