Air Conditions
In the cool atmosphere of an air conditioned room,
I practice my letters.
Like a child.
Learning the proper ways to curve the lines
teasing the slopes.
These letters are the veins of this,
Cardiovascular Dissection,
And like an untamed, ill-taught surgeon,
the letters splatter across my
canvas,
with so much blood, so much spite
always too much fire.
This heart beats not for the love that
centuries have tried to teach me. Woman.
Here I remain captive
Behind the pulsing vibrations of an iron heart.
For those like me
their heart tempos are
lessons that will remain untaught.
until further notice.
This cool oxygen that pools into the room,
from the endless reservoir of
the air conditioner.
It graces my parched skin with a subtle slap.
I am never allowed to breathe cool air
in summer.
And when winter wills its way in,
through the leaves of this world’s “inevitable change,”
I beg the air conditioner for its coolness
no more.
I wait by the window as the air outside
cools itself to an heat more frigid
than the one in this cool room.
What difference does the skin know
between the pain of heat or the pain of snow.
But summer's scorching hands gave me no mercy
in its final grip
And my costly air conditioner will spare me no punishment, no retribution.
Even as the outside grows colder,
still,
the inside of this one room remains colder than the outside
would ever dare to match up to.
The hats and mittens awaiting “winter’s first snowfall”
will be no comfort.
No comfort for this one room.
No warmer for this cold room.
No better for the empty
No sweeter for the soul.
This one cold room in this one bare heart
no longer seeks better
air conditions.
A one year rooming fee no longer applies
To a place.
Left alone as an island.
Because an island remains alone..
You know.
This room will remain colder still
to cool you in the summer’s heat
to curse you in its grip.
This. Is a reality you seek.
An air condition to keep your heart asleep