Nietzsche's Niche
A Message From the Author:
In case the title did not enlighten you, I am Friedrich “Everything is Pointless” Nietzsche, renowned German philosopher, and mustache enthusiast. You may be wondering how this is possible, as I am veritably dead. While I most certainly was deceased, I have returned from the void of the universe to dispense my wise words of wisdom to the unfortunate. That would be you, my dear reader. So please, ask me anything, as I apparently have all of time to answer questions.
I would tell you to enjoy my lessons, but as we all know, joy is an illusion.
~~~
Dear Nietzsche,
I’m having trouble deciding who to vote for in the upcoming election. I just don’t know how I can chose between Donald and Hillary. What do you recommend?
Johnny
Dear Jonathan,
I find the dichotomy of diametric decision to be quite simply, deplorable. Normally I would advocate for refusing to vote in a system so corrupt as democracy. Too often, the will of the majority seeks its own oppression in the search of the strongest leader. However, as odious as the process is, I believe that for this year, humanity requires a strong guiding force to check the tyranny of the majority. It is for that reason that I would like to announce my candidacy for Emperor of the World. I hope to win the support of no one in order to best guide all beings.
~~~
Dear Nietzsche,
I want to be a star when I grow up. I think I have the talent to be a GREAT singer, but I need to become famous. How should I do that?
Allison Strong
Dear Allison,
I do not believe that anything exists that is quite as superficial and fleeting as fame. To earn to adulation of the easily impressed masses is hardly an accomplishment. They devour stimulation greedily, like animals, looking towards frivolous entertainment like music and people falling down stairs. Fame should not be your aspiration. You should focus on intellectual enlightenment. Although music is far from ideal, attempt only to achieve greatness within yourself, whether or not your strivings are witnessed by anyone else.
~~~
Dear Nietzsche,
My birthday is coming up soon, and I just can’t decide what I want! Any advice?
Appalachia
Dear Appalachia,
How much happier I would be to speak to the powerful mountain range than the poorly-named child that you are. You must ask yourself, why want anything? Surely no gift can fill the void of one’s existence, or lack thereof. There is no one thing that you can request that will truly better your life. Instead, as my gift to you, I implore you to question yourself as an individual. After all, are you any better than the roaming beasts of the Earth if all you can do is want? You must evolve your mind to become greater; I would recommend staring at the void of space to do so.